Saturday, November 22, 2008

CARY WATSON LIKES WIFE SWAP A WHOLE LOT


NJ: Hi Cary, how are you today?

CW: Doing good. Doing good.

NJ: What are you watching right now?

CW: A beautiful Lifetime movie with Shannen Doherty. She is a pivotal scenestress in my life and this role is a triumph.

NJ: What are your top 5 favorite Lifetime movies?

CW: That's easy. This movie, Friends 'Til the End and this is in no particular order, Co-Ed Call Girl starring Tori Spelling - that's with an "I", She's Too Young, starring the earthy girl from Degrassi. She gets the syph. It's true. Hmm got so many that i love hmm..

NJ: What about the one where Dogface gets raped?

CW: yeah, but i can't remember the name...

PS: Twisted Desire!

CW: Also great. The one with the hot guy from the 90's and the older sister from Step by Step... maybe I'm combining two...

PS: Wasn't Brian Austin Green in one of these?

CW: Yeah the one where he fucks his Mom's best friend? Put these last two ones in there. DJ Tanner! Premise: Okay she was the

PS: I'm so excited about the blog!

NJ: Andrea, it's been an honor and a privilege.

PS: Okay bye guys.

NJ: Andrea I love you.

CW: Is that it?

NJ: No, sorry. Okay, lets see here. Well we can't talk shit so that rules out that... What are some informercial products that you'd like to own?

CW: Okay this is good. Well I remember my first that I always wanted was wonder mop which had the synthetic braided hair that picked up everything "Even egg yolk!" I also got into the Bullet.

NJ: You got so into that!

CW: Right now im into Twin Draft Guard and this other one called Shazaam.

NJ: What's that?

CW: What's Shazaam? PRetty much what it is is the same fibers from the wonder mop and but it's one big sheet. What the guy did was he poured a whole bottle on a carpet - and you knew they cut away a few times - but basically its a rag. Its a rag.

NJ: That's cool.

CW: Isn't it?

NJ: Would you give the Oxiclean guy a blow job?

CW: The one who yells all the time?

NJ: yeah.

CW: Um no I would stuff a cock in his mouth so he'd stop shouting all the time. PRINT THAT!

NJ: (Laughs)

Shannen Doherty: Does anybody hear meeeeee.

NJ: Cary you had so many teen crushes. Can you please tell me your top five?

CW: Leonardo DiCaprio, JTT circa Tool Time! Anytime. Jeremy and Jason London. DEVON SAWA. BIG TIME. Oh god, and you know this guy -my ultimate wet dream - the guy from Camp Nowhere, the one who was badass and cleaned carburators.

NJ: Well thanks for sharing all this with me.

PANDREA SNYDER LOVES AKEELAH AND THE BEE



NJ: Hi Andrea, how are you this afternoon?

PS: Doing pretty well, thanks...

NJ: Well im glad to hear it! I really am. How many Coors Lite could you drink in the space of an hour without getting sleepy?

PS: I have a lot of fine lines so i think i could drink four.

NJ: Well you're a little baby, aren't you?

PS: Nick!

CW: What kind of Lite beer do you prefer?

PS: I had a Michelob Ultra light recently and it was disgusting.

CW: Can't get no bladder buzz with that shit!

NJ: OK, getting serious now: What is your five year plan?

PS: Nick, I really don't know. I'm feeling put on the spot here. Hmmm lets see. Maybe leave... wait no i can't say that!

CW: (CARY BURPS LOUDLY)

PS: Maybe move back to the burbs, pop out a few kids (LAUGHS/CHORTLES) I also really want to act. I wanna DANCE.

CW: BORING!

PS: Oh and marry John Starks.PS BIGGIE RULES JOHN STARKS IS MY BEEF GOD.

CW: Andrea...

PS: I gotta wrap this up I'm feeling nauseous.

NJ: Fair enough.

Shannen Doherty: She's ruining my life!