Saturday, November 22, 2008

CARY WATSON LIKES WIFE SWAP A WHOLE LOT


NJ: Hi Cary, how are you today?

CW: Doing good. Doing good.

NJ: What are you watching right now?

CW: A beautiful Lifetime movie with Shannen Doherty. She is a pivotal scenestress in my life and this role is a triumph.

NJ: What are your top 5 favorite Lifetime movies?

CW: That's easy. This movie, Friends 'Til the End and this is in no particular order, Co-Ed Call Girl starring Tori Spelling - that's with an "I", She's Too Young, starring the earthy girl from Degrassi. She gets the syph. It's true. Hmm got so many that i love hmm..

NJ: What about the one where Dogface gets raped?

CW: yeah, but i can't remember the name...

PS: Twisted Desire!

CW: Also great. The one with the hot guy from the 90's and the older sister from Step by Step... maybe I'm combining two...

PS: Wasn't Brian Austin Green in one of these?

CW: Yeah the one where he fucks his Mom's best friend? Put these last two ones in there. DJ Tanner! Premise: Okay she was the

PS: I'm so excited about the blog!

NJ: Andrea, it's been an honor and a privilege.

PS: Okay bye guys.

NJ: Andrea I love you.

CW: Is that it?

NJ: No, sorry. Okay, lets see here. Well we can't talk shit so that rules out that... What are some informercial products that you'd like to own?

CW: Okay this is good. Well I remember my first that I always wanted was wonder mop which had the synthetic braided hair that picked up everything "Even egg yolk!" I also got into the Bullet.

NJ: You got so into that!

CW: Right now im into Twin Draft Guard and this other one called Shazaam.

NJ: What's that?

CW: What's Shazaam? PRetty much what it is is the same fibers from the wonder mop and but it's one big sheet. What the guy did was he poured a whole bottle on a carpet - and you knew they cut away a few times - but basically its a rag. Its a rag.

NJ: That's cool.

CW: Isn't it?

NJ: Would you give the Oxiclean guy a blow job?

CW: The one who yells all the time?

NJ: yeah.

CW: Um no I would stuff a cock in his mouth so he'd stop shouting all the time. PRINT THAT!

NJ: (Laughs)

Shannen Doherty: Does anybody hear meeeeee.

NJ: Cary you had so many teen crushes. Can you please tell me your top five?

CW: Leonardo DiCaprio, JTT circa Tool Time! Anytime. Jeremy and Jason London. DEVON SAWA. BIG TIME. Oh god, and you know this guy -my ultimate wet dream - the guy from Camp Nowhere, the one who was badass and cleaned carburators.

NJ: Well thanks for sharing all this with me.

PANDREA SNYDER LOVES AKEELAH AND THE BEE



NJ: Hi Andrea, how are you this afternoon?

PS: Doing pretty well, thanks...

NJ: Well im glad to hear it! I really am. How many Coors Lite could you drink in the space of an hour without getting sleepy?

PS: I have a lot of fine lines so i think i could drink four.

NJ: Well you're a little baby, aren't you?

PS: Nick!

CW: What kind of Lite beer do you prefer?

PS: I had a Michelob Ultra light recently and it was disgusting.

CW: Can't get no bladder buzz with that shit!

NJ: OK, getting serious now: What is your five year plan?

PS: Nick, I really don't know. I'm feeling put on the spot here. Hmmm lets see. Maybe leave... wait no i can't say that!

CW: (CARY BURPS LOUDLY)

PS: Maybe move back to the burbs, pop out a few kids (LAUGHS/CHORTLES) I also really want to act. I wanna DANCE.

CW: BORING!

PS: Oh and marry John Starks.PS BIGGIE RULES JOHN STARKS IS MY BEEF GOD.

CW: Andrea...

PS: I gotta wrap this up I'm feeling nauseous.

NJ: Fair enough.

Shannen Doherty: She's ruining my life!

Monday, November 12, 2007

hedi slimane



diane arbus



god bless this crazy fella for the blazing the trail for people like chyna, xtina, latter day brit

but seriously, i think it's pretty amazing. this picture was taken like 50 years ago

ryan mcginley rulz



"it's awful both ways"

joy division




i just saw Control, the new movie about joy division, and it was superb.

the band was named after the nazi's sexual slavery rings in the concentration camps. nice, huh ?

a lot of their music is too gloomy + weird but i like one called Disorder.