Saturday, November 22, 2008
CARY WATSON LIKES WIFE SWAP A WHOLE LOT
NJ: Hi Cary, how are you today?
CW: Doing good. Doing good.
NJ: What are you watching right now?
CW: A beautiful Lifetime movie with Shannen Doherty. She is a pivotal scenestress in my life and this role is a triumph.
NJ: What are your top 5 favorite Lifetime movies?
CW: That's easy. This movie, Friends 'Til the End and this is in no particular order, Co-Ed Call Girl starring Tori Spelling - that's with an "I", She's Too Young, starring the earthy girl from Degrassi. She gets the syph. It's true. Hmm got so many that i love hmm..
NJ: What about the one where Dogface gets raped?
CW: yeah, but i can't remember the name...
PS: Twisted Desire!
CW: Also great. The one with the hot guy from the 90's and the older sister from Step by Step... maybe I'm combining two...
PS: Wasn't Brian Austin Green in one of these?
CW: Yeah the one where he fucks his Mom's best friend? Put these last two ones in there. DJ Tanner! Premise: Okay she was the
PS: I'm so excited about the blog!
NJ: Andrea, it's been an honor and a privilege.
PS: Okay bye guys.
NJ: Andrea I love you.
CW: Is that it?
NJ: No, sorry. Okay, lets see here. Well we can't talk shit so that rules out that... What are some informercial products that you'd like to own?
CW: Okay this is good. Well I remember my first that I always wanted was wonder mop which had the synthetic braided hair that picked up everything "Even egg yolk!" I also got into the Bullet.
NJ: You got so into that!
CW: Right now im into Twin Draft Guard and this other one called Shazaam.
NJ: What's that?
CW: What's Shazaam? PRetty much what it is is the same fibers from the wonder mop and but it's one big sheet. What the guy did was he poured a whole bottle on a carpet - and you knew they cut away a few times - but basically its a rag. Its a rag.
NJ: That's cool.
CW: Isn't it?
NJ: Would you give the Oxiclean guy a blow job?
CW: The one who yells all the time?
NJ: yeah.
CW: Um no I would stuff a cock in his mouth so he'd stop shouting all the time. PRINT THAT!
NJ: (Laughs)
Shannen Doherty: Does anybody hear meeeeee.
NJ: Cary you had so many teen crushes. Can you please tell me your top five?
CW: Leonardo DiCaprio, JTT circa Tool Time! Anytime. Jeremy and Jason London. DEVON SAWA. BIG TIME. Oh god, and you know this guy -my ultimate wet dream - the guy from Camp Nowhere, the one who was badass and cleaned carburators.
NJ: Well thanks for sharing all this with me.
PANDREA SNYDER LOVES AKEELAH AND THE BEE
NJ: Hi Andrea, how are you this afternoon?
PS: Doing pretty well, thanks...
NJ: Well im glad to hear it! I really am. How many Coors Lite could you drink in the space of an hour without getting sleepy?
PS: I have a lot of fine lines so i think i could drink four.
NJ: Well you're a little baby, aren't you?
PS: Nick!
CW: What kind of Lite beer do you prefer?
PS: I had a Michelob Ultra light recently and it was disgusting.
CW: Can't get no bladder buzz with that shit!
NJ: OK, getting serious now: What is your five year plan?
PS: Nick, I really don't know. I'm feeling put on the spot here. Hmmm lets see. Maybe leave... wait no i can't say that!
CW: (CARY BURPS LOUDLY)
PS: Maybe move back to the burbs, pop out a few kids (LAUGHS/CHORTLES) I also really want to act. I wanna DANCE.
CW: BORING!
PS: Oh and marry John Starks.PS BIGGIE RULES JOHN STARKS IS MY BEEF GOD.
CW: Andrea...
PS: I gotta wrap this up I'm feeling nauseous.
NJ: Fair enough.
Shannen Doherty: She's ruining my life!
Monday, November 12, 2007
diane arbus
joy division
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